Natural Rhythms

As the song goes ‘ Let’s start at the very beginning, that’s a very good place to start…..’  Christmas 2006 saw me at the doctor’s with a suspected chest infection, my first after forty-four years of smoking.  I was given antibiotics and got through to January as best I could.  Up to the doc’s again and I was sent straight away to the Conquest Hospital, where I was given an X-ray, the verdict of which was lung cancer – the whole lung was totally collapsed.  The stark reality was to have the whole lung removed.  No choice!  Absolutely none!  Needless to say, I stopped smoking there and then.

The next stage would be Guy’s Hospital in London for ten days.  At this point, the fear factor exploded and I couldn’t even have a fag to calm me down!!  After a successful operation and three months of chemotherapy plus two blood transfusions I was skeletal and totally depressed.  I would sit day after day in a chair, not wanting to wash, eat, or communicate with anyone.  According to my wife I turned into a complete monster.

I had been assigned a MacMillan Nurse, who on several occasions on regular visits had spoken about The Sara Lee Trust, the Yurt in the woods and the Sanctuary Days – to which I replied, ‘I’m not going to sit with a lot of ill people!’  However, between her and my wife, I was worn down, and one Thursday I was picked up by Sue, one of the volunteer drivers, and went to my first Sanctuary Day.  Well, you have heard of ‘man flu’ – try ‘man cancer’ – it was obvious I was the ‘illest’!!!

But I was brought back to reality by the brave and courageous women that I sat around with that day.  My introduction to yet another Macmillan Nurse, Pauline and also to Deborah and Sarah, plus all the women who had, in some form or other, got the same t-shirt as me (not forgetting my wife and my nurse, Carol), made me realise that I had collected quite a harem, and being the only man in all this I quite liked it after all.  Also on a Tuesday at the Yurt I was still the only man and I was surrounded by even more ladies and it just got better and better.

However, although our meetings are often laughter-filled, there are also tears and sadness and in the two and a half years that I have been involved I have lost some dear friends, but all have been helped so much by the dedicated team at The Sara Lee Trust.  It started with me not wanting to accept help – my thoughts were ‘Leave me alone to wallow’.  But these meetings have become an essential part of my life and I consider myself very lucky to have been part of them.  I feel that the Trust must go on long into the future and will continue to support many people who will all be asking the same question – ‘Why me?’.

I heard a quote along the way – ‘If you can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel – get up and switch it on’.  I did.

Chris Farrell